Long distance sucks. It’s a bitch. However, if your relationship is worth it to you and long distance is the situation, then….it’s something you just have to deal with. And not just deal with, but master! Why not get really good at it?

My point exactly.

Now, I wouldn’t say my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, but we often are apart for long stretches of time. For example, we were just apart for a little over a month, which is something we’ve gone through before. And it’s never necessarily easy.

After our first time of being apart for a month, we thought, okay it’ll be easier the next time.

But we were wrong.

It was harder the second time. But we made it work.

How?

I’ll tell you the NUMBER ONE thing we did to make it work. And that was communicate. Seems obvious. But it’s more than just, ohhhh make sure to check in. We were more or less in constant communication. Which really helped.

It’s not like he was constantly giving me a play-by-play at all. But it was just as if there was no beginning or end of our conversation. It was one whole conversation while he was gone.

And, again, I’m not implying that you should be glued to your phone. But it’s just that open channel, dialogue, conversation, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes we’d go eight hours without anything being sent, but we’d pick it right back up. And that’s what was important.

Number two on importance though? Know your freaking love language. You can take the test super easily, and it really gives you insight into what you need from your partner and what they need from you.

My boyfriend and I have the same love languages, which is super helpful because what we crave and need is what the other craves and needs.

Sometimes people show their love by giving gifts (me), but maybe receiving gifts isn’t a way that they feel they’re being shown love (also me). For example, receiving a gift from my boyfriend isn’t the same thing as having him tell me he loves me (for me). And that is because gift giving isn’t one of my love languages. It’s also not one of his! So, even though I LOVE giving gifts, I know that’s not the best way to his heart and vice versa.

Once you know each other’s love language and you start to show your love based on those results, everything will improve. If your significant other’s love languages are quality time and words of affection, then in order to make him or her feel loved, you need to be sure to spend quality time with them and show your affection via your words. If you want to dive deeper, there’s a book that goes into major detail.

Number three, we can’t forget about FaceTime, pictures and daily phone calls to hear one another’s voice. These are all important. And they will ensure your relationship doesn’t simply survive, but that it thrives, grows and improves. Because if it’s not growing, if you’re not growing, then it’s not moving at all (stagnation).

Change is a part of life. And it doesn’t have to mean anything negative. We change. Our relationships change. Our outlooks change. But let’s look at this as a graph that has the data trending upward. Now, don’t you want that too? Then it’s time to accept and embrace change. If you have to deal with long distance, do not mope around. Make the best of it. Adaptation is key.

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