My friends often ask me for advice, whether it’s about work, other friendships or love. And I’m always happy to give it, even though I am nooooo pro. But it can be a slippery slope and you have to be very strategic about how you go about doling out advice.

Know your friend. Some friends want to hear the cold hard truth…but some friends don’t actually want that, even if they say they do. It’s just a different way of operating and also a different friendship. So, you have to know your friend. Depending on the situation, I think you can either be brutally honest or tiptoe around things a bit. Tiptoeing doesn’t mean you have to avoid the truth, but I would be very aware of your friendship and how it works, and know that you can’t approach honest advice in the same way for every friend.

Never tell them what to do. When someone tells me what to do, I often like to do the opposite. Go ahead, call me a rebel! But then again, I’m actually pretty sensitive sometimes. So, when someone tells me how they would go about doing things, it really affects me. I am very independent when it comes to how I act, and honestly I don’t want anyone telling me how they would do things, because I’m likely not going to listen and sometimes I just don’t care how someone else does something because it’s completely irrelevant to how I may approach things. We all make our own mistakes and that’s truly the only way to live…to make mistakes for ourselves. Yes, we can tell our friends NOT to make the first move with a guy or to take the “awesome” job that pays well for sure, but what if they want to do things differently? Well then… they will.

Remember they are their own person. Everyone operates differently. I’m very harsh. Black and white are two shades I like. Shockingly, GREY is a tone I’m rather unfamiliar with, which perhaps makes it a place I aspire to understand. So, I can be a bit irrational and react rather intensely to things out of self-defense. But not everyone is like that. And thank goodness for that! I don’t want a world of people all like me. Otherwise how would I learn and grow? My best friend lives in the grey area and she teaches me things all the time. I like to think I teach her too. But I always remember that she is her own person and I am mine. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

More than anything you have to remember to put yourself in your friend’s position and offer LOVE more than you offer criticism. Be sure to support, help and assist them, but not force them into anything. Cause let me tell you, it ain’t gonna work! Friendships are all about love and helping… but also understanding. Always aim to see things from both perspectives and remember that they are asking for advice because they know they need some guidance. So don’t be too hard on them. 😉

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